Sample of College Student Writing

Posted: March 2, 2016 in Articles
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Students-Ill-prepared-for-College-Writing-2The following is what our sister found on a computer in her class. She started editing it, but it was just so bad that she had to stop. Can you count the number of errors?

Hook: There are more people addicted to coffee than smoking cigarette.

Thesis: In today’s society, more teenagers started drinking coffee and addicted to it by multiple reasons.

Main point 1: Social life is attracting teenagers to start drinking coffee.

Ex.1: Having a roommate who is addicted to coffee in college. The invitation from a roommate every morning is attractive.

Ex 2: Coffee and dessert are the most popular place to go when meeting friends.

Main point 2: Tons of pressures from school and work.

Ex.1: Some people started drinking coffee to keep them calm and relieve the pressure.

Ex.2: Maybe you’d have lovely parents that make coffee for themselves every morning, until finally somedays you did not sleep well and your curiosity makes you start drinking coffee to wake up yourself.

Main point 3: The energy boost from coffee

Ex.1: Most students have 5 hours sleep every day, coffee has become their only tool to keep them awake every day.

Ex.2: Caffeine addicted might cause drinking stronger coffee or drink more coffee every day.

Conclusion: There are multiple causes forced teenagers start to drink coffee and might get addicted to coffee such as social life, relieve pressures and energy boost.

 

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